The illusion that rules – and ruins – our lives.

Much of how we live today is shaped by a massive illusion. It is not an illusion that somebody implanted, purposefully, into our heads. No – it is an illusion that made us, that is part of the stock of ideas that shapes our way of thinking. I want to examine and explain in the following article why (I think) this is so – and argue that the only way to live our life fully is to accept that part of our beliefs is just an illusion.

Societies, just like biological species, evolve. In every species that is able to learn behaviours – be it monkeys, dolphins, birds or humans^[1] – we find that different subgroups develop different ways they behave, which they then pass on to their young via socialisation. If we have for example two groups of genetically similar humans we can be sure that one group will be more successful at surviving and spreading.

What we find is very clear: Certain behaviours are beneficial, others are detrimental. The Spartans managed to conquer most of Greece, but not because of superior numbers or genes, but because of a social order that trained every man from birth to become a warrior. And, after they finally conquered Athens, the other big player of the time, they fell. Not because they lost – but because the Athenian lifestyle altered the Spartan culture. It showed the former warriors the wonders of the luxurious and lazy life. This changed the culture and they became “weak” – the Spartan lifestyle changed and so they lost their superiority^[2].

Our culture, as you might have guessed, still exists. That means it or at least its predecessors were successful at spreading and conquering the world – not (just) with weapons, but with ideas, with ways of thinking – with culture. Our culture, like all others today, is a result of past successes. Those ways of thinking that we have are what made it successful – at surviving and spreading.

Shared ways of thinking, so called memes, are what make a culture. These memes are manifold and they change over time. For example, the green movement and the idea of sustainability are quite new memes. But on the other hand we live with many old memes – and among them is one that I think makes many of us miserable. It is an idea, a mighty one, which has already tortured many people. This idea is one we hol, no matter if we are religious or not, to be holy. It is: The meaning of life. Or, meaning in general. It is the idea that there are goals to achieve and reasons to do so. It is the idea that we shouldn’t do things for no reason. It is the idea that we shouldn’t “waste time” and that we should use our time productively and usefully.

This meme is very simple. It is what made us successful. I think it is even what Max Weber meant when he talked about the “protestant ethics”^[3]: The idea that you have to create your own luck, that you should do all the things that are – and make you by achieving them – great. It was a hit. “Meaning” and “purpose” are part of the basics of our “western” culture: You should do things that have a reason, you should act according to goals. And as Weber and others have argued, it is what made the European world truly successful.

Now, the idea is great. It works, as long as there are clearly defined goals. For example, in a feudalist world, if you’re a shoemaker you don’t have a choice what to do – then you should make the best shoes. If you’re a soldier – then you should train and fight the best you can. And if you’re a king then you should rule your country the best and make it the strongest. And at any other time in our history somebody – a god, priest, lord, belief, rule, law or pure neccessity – told you what to do.

But in the process of our social evolution something else happened: Freedom. Freedom from the social boundaries that were laid upon us. Suddenly we have the freedom to become who we want to be, live where we want to live and do what we think is right for us. Suddenly we have the freedom to decide, and, as Sartre said, with it, we are forced to decide what to do with our lives. Officially we have “freedom” at least since the French revolution, but just in the last fifty or so years our world – and our socialisation – really took a form that allows and forces us to choose.

So, we have a clash. We have, on the one hand, a meme that makes us look for meaning and a fixed, objective goal outside us. And, on the other hand, we have a new meme that forces us to choose what to do. That means one thing: We now have to choose our meaning of life.

But it is clear that this idea has not arrived in our minds yet. When we talk about the meaning of life – those of us that dare to – we talk not about creating it, but we talk about finding it. We travel around the world, try jobs, study different things, have different partners, read books and blogs – only to discover, again and again, that nothing out there does give us meaning. Our society has furnished us with the idea that there is a meaning out there and so we go out and search. But as long as we follow our rules of reason and evidence – another meme, the scientific method – we are unable to find one. The reason is simple: We are unable to find one because there is no meaning of life. We have fallen for an illusion: The illusion that there is a meaning of life.

This has dangerous results. A whole generation is disoriented and has a feeling of being lost in this world, because they – us – don’t understand that to live means to create one’s own life. To live means to create your own meaning and then make this, your own personal meaning, your ultimate goal. This can never be wholly rational, since reason is nothing more than a calculation device^[4]. But we are lead by the way our minds were shaped – by our socialisation – onto a dangerous and scary path. We still hope for something to be there while “god is dead [because] we killed him” (Nietzsche). There is no more meaning while we are still conditioned to try to find one that we can follow.

This is the big illusion of our age, which rules – and possibly ruins – many of our lives, because it sends us out on a futile search. The only answer can be to accept that there is no meaning in life – only the one that you make for yourself. No one can give you a meaning. And you cannot find one out there, no matter how long you look. You can delude yourself into believing there is one – but for that you will have to give up your rationality.

So what remains… is to accept it. Accept that there is no meaning in life – unless you create it. And then, if you want to be happy^[5]: Create it. Find what moves you most and, consciously, decide to make this thing your goal and meaning. There is much to be done…

1. and many many others, there are even good arguments that some insects and microorganisms learn – so we can be pretty sure that most species do so [back]
2. so described and explained in Robert Greene – The 48 Laws of Power [back]
3. Max Weber: The Protestant Ethic and the Spirit of Capitalism, several printed versions are on Amazon [back]
4. I follow here “Humean Psychology”, nicely summed up in the David Hume quote “reason is a slave to the passions”. Reason, in this theory, can never by itself do anything, it is like a calculator that requires input – which it receives from the passions (emotions, feelings) – and, according to this input, calculates the best way of action. A human on this take can never be purely rational. – see here for an overview and here or here for in-depth discussion [back]
5. happiness and a feeling of “having a purpose” are closely linked – see e.g. this study (PDF) [back]